Thursday, March 11, 2010

Man is most nearly himself when he achieves the seriousness of a child at play

Can I just say, that I am having the WORST Olympic withdrawls?? Seriously.... the Olympics were probably the best 2 weeks of my Lethbridge life! I'm not really sure why.. I think it all started when the torch came through. That was a fabulous evening. Then, my roommate Kathryn and I became OBSESSED with speed skating. There just happened to be a day where neither of us had anything specific to do that day, so ALL we did was watch speed skating. It was far too much fun than it should've been, so we spend the next 2 weeks sitting in just about the same spots watching anything to do with the Olympics. We laughed, we cried (I cried), we yelled at koreans.... it was fabulous. Unfortunately for us, McDonalds was an Olympic sponsor... which resulted in the consumption of a few too many chicken mcnuggets....why? Because "the TV told us to..." The gold medal hockey game was AMAZING!! Scott came by to watch it with us.... I fear that we frightened him a little with our intense Olympic love. Before it started, I made a comment about how awesome it would be if it was a close game... I regretted saying that when I was so afraid we might lose that I felt sick to my stomach.... but we won. It was GLORious :) I skipped class, she skipped work, and now we're both really sad it's all over :( But at least we totally bonded and I pretty much love her freaking guts.

School has been....... boring. I hate pretty much all my classes this semester. It's a miracle that I passed my first Economics midterm.. I tend to.. not... go... to class... But i'll pull it off. I always do :) I put a lot of the blame on Braden, who is in 2 of my classes with me. We kinda just sit at the back and talk about his girl issues, my boy issues, and our mutual issues with some mutual friends... We laugh a lot.... we just don't learn a lot... Meh!

Work is fine. I'm a little concerned for the summer however.. everyone will want more hours, but there are actually less hours to be had in the summer. One good thing though is that I'm kind of being trained to have more responsibility which will give me more opportunities to work specific shifts that the other girls won't be able to have. For some reason, the powers-that-be LOVE me there.. I might even start working in the kitchen for some extra hours. We'll see.

Two weeks ago, there was a dance. During the dance, I auditioned for the talent show that's coming up next week. I'm singing "Misguided Ghosts" by Paramore. It actually sounds really good. Scott is playing the guitar for me. He had never heard the song, but he learned it because I asked him to. It was really nice of him, and he's really talented. Braden was on the "judging panel" and I think I surprised him a little bit. He didn't really know that I was musical at all. I guess I've hidden my talents a little while I've been here in Lethbridge.. not really sure why. I know I'm not the best singer in the world, but I'm not terrible and I enjoy doing it when I get the chance. Anyway, the main point of the story was that I got all dressed up, was feeling pretty dang good about myself, and sang to these people, most of whom I barely knew. They LOVED it and gave me the only golden ticket of the night. (It was a yellow post-it that had GOLD written on it....) I left the room, strutted into the dance that was kind of struggling, and got that party started! Confidence is everything!! I always heard that, but never believed it! I felt good, I looked good (you know it...) and had a blast! AND even got asked to dance by a boy who WASN'T 18!!! Ok... so maybe it was just Scott .. but still! People have been complaining ever since about how terrible the dance was.. but it was one of my favourites so far! I plan on making every dance that great. I have to give a shout-out to Naomi.. I'm not sure what it is, but there's just something about her that brings out the awesomeness in me! (I say awesomeness, other people may say overwhelmingness.. if that's even a word...)

Scott and I went on a double date last weekend with Naomi and Cody. It was super casual.. mostly just an excuse to hang out with some great friends.. We played around in Walmart for awhile... doing things that are only funny to high school kids, and Mormons. Then we went to the park, got some delicious starbucks, and watched a movie back at my place. It was fun!

This brings me to my most recent epiphany. I have learned that I'm a silly person, and I always will be. The times I'm the happiest are when I'm truly myself, and I can only really be myself when I am around people who make me feel comfortable in my own skin. This is why when I find people like this, I become so attached to them that it is hard for me to let them go. This is why I depend on being surrounded by friends/family. My patriarchal blessing talks about the strong character and pleasant personality that I brought with me from my pre-mortal life. I can just picture myself running around in the spirit world being silly (but reverent!) and smiling a lot. This is because I was comfortable there. I imagine I was with my family, and friends, and Heavenly parents who all loved me for me. The purest version of me. The version that sometimes emerges when I'm with people that I love, who love me for me, and who bring out my best qualities. This is why I'm the happiest when I'm good, keeping the commandments, helping others, and laughing. I have been very lucky to have a few of those days here in Lethbridge... those days where I feel like myself :)